Since I promised, here's one for my dear friend N ;)

Staring at the starry night
I'm thinking of all the times
I've wanted to say what my heart feels
But it all just stays inside of me
However hard I've tried.

Staring at the starry night
I see the twinkle in your eyes
The way your hair falls down your face
The way you slowly rise.
The way you wink at me
With a playful little smile,
The way you hold me in your arms
It's been such a while.

I've seen you move to rhythms divine,
I've been at your side,
and you've been at mine,
We've seen time fly,
From the time we first met
To the day we said goodbye,
Not once my feelings did I confess
I knew not if you'd say no,
Or if I would hear a yes.

I wish I'd said those three little words,
And then you'd have known
How much my soul yearns for you
But now the bird has flown.
And here I sit, under the stars,
Thinking about you,
Of all the times I wanted to,
But never thought it through.

If I had a second chance,
I'd ask you out to one last dance,
Twirl you around into a spin,
The world blurs around to a world within,
A sparkle of fairy dust, a glimmer of joy,
A moment of fantasy, just you and I.
And then you'd know, this much is true,
My heart beats only, and only for you.

But here I sit, under the starry sky,
Thinking of the times gone by,
A silhouette etched against the night,
The setting moon my only light,
Yearning for just one little chance,
To take your hand for one last dance.

Well, this is a special one. Hope you like it H!

Since You've Been Gone

Every now and then
I drift back to those days gone by
When the world seemed to revolve
Around the two of us.

It seems so long, a lifetime away
When you and I were together.
When you would be the one I see
As the first ray of sun poured into the room
Calm and fast asleep.
When you would be the one I see
As the moonlight poured into the room
Your face lit by the milky hues.

Every now and then
I wander down those lanes
of my memories that remain
About the two of us.

I miss the long conversations we had
Being honest, open and free
Sharing things we'd never tell others
And all that we told them too
I miss the times spent being silent
Finding comfort in no words at all
Sharing the songs that make us laugh
The movies that brought us to tears
Finding quirk in the silliest of things
And intellect in nothing at all.

Every now and then
I look back and think
of all the things we said we'd do
Just the two of us.

I miss how you laughed,
that little frown on your nose
I miss your tantrums
yes, I miss those too.
I miss your smile, I miss your face,
I miss the way your perfume smells
It's an ache, a gap, a little big void
A hole that hasn't been filled as yet
I think of ways to hide it all,
I think I'm good at it now

But every now and then
My memories take me back
And I'm back again with you
Sometimes I wish time would turn back again
To when it was just us two.

- S -

So, I've been cleaning out my blog for sometime now. Spring cleaning you can say. And here's something I found that made me look back, think about how my thoughts, the way I see things and who I am, has changed over time. 

Interesting, to dig into your mind's musings from years gone by.

Of MICA and Of Love being only in the Air

Valentine's day is three days away.

It's been so long since I've actually felt more alive, so immersed in the world I'm in, so well...how do I put it...well integrated into the scheme of things. There's so much going on in my life that I've thought of as perfect. Yet I've never felt quite so lonesome.

MICA is an immense sensory and emotional roller coaster ride. One that takes you through a journey that's a life in itself. Two whole years have passed and I've gained what I can only say is priceless. Living in a hostel for nigh two years has forged bonds with my fellow batchmates that I can confidently say will be able to stand the test of time. Open your doors and you can shout out to your neighbour for some food and get two abuses and a pack of chips in return. Three hundred individuals of similar mentality in a twenty and two acre campus makes for some great times together! Parties till the break of dawn and beyond, midnight snacks at Chhota, drowsy classroom projects, weird story nights, poker, badminton till 4 am...yeah! This is the place to be.

Yet in all of this, I do not know why, but I feel lonesome. I barely talk about this to anyone though. It's been what...three years or so since I've been single. And I now miss that companionship...
Culcomm (Cultural Committee at MICA) has decided to set up a Prom night to get all those couples-to-be together. Taking a friend to prom just isn't what I see it to be. Remember Neha's story? (read it here if you haven't) Prom's like that...it's kinda special. More so since my school didn't have a prom in the first place.And I've not really found that special someone with whom I share the same wavelength so to speak. Many have, and it's just amazing to see all of them so happy. Even one of my closest friends here, one who believed her heart's closed to relationships for the time being, found happiness with a batchmate of ours. It's just that....how is it that I cannot find that one person to share my life with? Is it really that difficult? Or is it all just some acts of destiny/fate that's gonna "magically" bring us together? I don't know. And now I do care.

It's great knowing that there's that one special person you want to take care of. That one person who not only knows you best but wants to keep knowing more about you. She's your best friend, the yin to your yang, the addition to your subtraction, she's the cadbury that lifts your spirits when you want something sweet, the sunlight that drenches you in its warmth. Quite simply she gets you.


And I miss that.

.

For the nicknames we gave each other,
for the times we shared a plate in the canteen,
for the pranks we played on each other,
and those that we played on others,
You shall always be there in my heart.

We played, we fought,
we learnt, we taught,
sometimes serious, sometimes silly,
some were lame, some plain crazy,
But for all that we were, we were good fun,
It was one for all and all for one,
As the musketeers we braved each day,
with our swords held high and enemies at bay.
But now, after so long, our ways have parted,
and we barely get to meet,
And every time I hear your voice,
My heart skips two beats.
For in comes flooding all the memories of the good ol' days,
My eyes stay dry but my my heart cries out,
not with sorrow, but with joy.
The memories are those most dear to me,
even those of tears,
for whenever I've cried, it was with you,
You made me forget all my fears.
For these moments of untarnished bliss, I thank you today,
As I shall till the end,
These thoughts I pen down this special day,
For you, my dear, dear friend.

This one goes out to all my friends, old and new, personal and online. Wherever you are, however we may have met, know that you're very precious to me.

Happy friendship's day!

Remember that feeling of wonder when you looked at an airplane fly over your head?
Remember spreading your arms and running across the open field of green, trying to chase it?
(I feel the wind in my hair...)

Remember the look of excitement on your face when mum handed you an ice candy?
Remember giving her a tight kiss after the candy and giggling over the orange mark you left behind on her cheek?
(I still feel the tight squeeze of her hug)

Remember walking hand in hand to school with your friends?
Remember holding their hand while being scolded together by the teacher for not doing homework?
(I still thank him for doing mine coz I fell ill)

Remember singing in tune to the National anthem?
Remember singing out of tune to the school hymns?
(...and to the morning prayers and every poem they taught)

Remember sharing tiffin at recess?
Remember showing off your tiffin box full of maggi?
(then crying over it when it fell down)

Remember the towel around your neck and superman in your heart?
Remember being a fireman, a tarzan and a G.I.Joe wrapped in one?
(I was batman too! :)

Remember your first crush on tv or from school?
Remember your parents going "awww..." and your friends going "hawww..."
(I still blush when I think of her)

Remember waking up for school in the morning and not noon?
Remember feeling all grown up wearing full pants to school?
(leather shoes and your first pocket money...)

Remember using ink pens because they improved handwriting?
Remember lauging over the ink blotches all over your friends face, not knowing you had more on your own?
(I yet cannot write without blotting paper)

Remember getting embarrassed when you hear a couple say "I love you" to each other?
Remember giggling over it with your friends?
(thinking of saying it to a girl at the same time)

Remember feeling proud of your first bicycle?
Remember learning to ride and you never knew when dad let go?
Remember crying over it because he did?
(then realizing you had learnt to ride a bicycle!)

Remember the joy of laughing in the rain?
Remember coming home dripping wet?
(I still do that when I can)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Woh school ki seedi woh pyaar bhari baatein
Woh syllabus ki tension woh exam ki raatein,
Canteen ki party woh b'day ki laatein,
ruthna manana woh bunk mulakate,
Library mein woh sona woh music
woh movie woh cards ki magic,
Proposal ki planning mein raat ka gujarna,
Fir class k peehche ki seat pe sona
Library mein jakar chehro ko padna
Betuki bato ko seriously lena,
Woh matlab ki batein hasi mein udana,
Na woh din hai na raate na gussa na baatein,
Agar Kuch Hai To Bas "YAADEIN HI YAADEIN"......

One rainy afternoon, sitting at the window and looking out at the cloudy heavens, I felt like writing a poem. Never knew I could write poetry back then, but still, a feeling's a feeling y'know...and when I started, it began to flow....I never really had to think up words for this poem, they just came...feels nice whenever I read it.

If the text isn't visible, here it is:

As I look into the future,
my thoughts my only guide,
the memories of you, my love,
in my heart they reside.

The days, they seem so lonely,
the nights seem so long,
I miss you all the while, I do,
for you I sing this song.

I wish I could hold you in my arms,
though I know it is too late.
But I promise we shall unite again,
at Heaven's Golden gate.