AAAAAAAAAaaaaahhh!!

I won't say I'm back. I'll just start typing as fast as I can!

Utsav at Illegal Briefs (yea the chaddi chor types Briefs) said the latest Youngistaan Ka Wow ads starring Gamemaster Gogo...erm....Sanjay Butt and Ranbir Ka-poor trying to score off IPL. How many of you guys believe that? Raise your hands.
One...two...three...ah crap! All of you...
Here's a list of my top three movies that practically survived on their sponsorships since they had horrendous scripts and equally bad acting to follow them up. I mean reall REALLY bad acting. Have you tried watching two men talk inside a glass doored cabin? Lip sync them with a Lady Gaga music video and that's about what you get from these movies. With lots of guns, leather and other shit that's supposed to be uber sexy.
So, here goes!

1. Evolution

Oh.My.God! I mean really OMG! It's probably been ages since I've seen a movie that I laughed so hard at! Two college professors, one hormonal female scientist and a firefighter cadet fight an alien organism that tries to take over the world. Should be interesting right? Right. Apparently the only thing this alien thingie is allergic to is Head and Shoulders(wtf ?!). So they fill a firetruck with H&S, shove it down the giant alien's humongous arse-hole and fill it's insides with shampoo, thereby defeating it and saving the world from total domination. Ignoring the fact that it's plain stupid, one and a half hours of watching the movie ends it with:
"For smooth and silky hair, use Head and Shoulders!"
Ha! for advertising a product! :D

2. Mission Istanbul

A promising journalist gets posted to Istanbul to cover a controversial news piece about terrorism. Aided by a turkish commando and catwoman, he battles the good fight. Pan camera at a parking lot. Our two heroes and one feline heroine are style-maarofying, waiting for something to happen when lots of big muscular guys from the Istanbuli akhadas appear out of nowhere like a new level of Prince of Persia. Our journalist friend almost shat in his pants at the thought of fighting these thugs when Lady Huntresswali goes to her jeep, opens the boot and pulls out an icebox.

"Tumhe darr lag raha hai? Lo Mountain Dew piyo. Kyonki Dar ke aage jeet hai!" (wtf! pt.2!!)

As soon as all three have done a bottoms up of their cans of Dew, they go "I am The One!" on all twenty thugs sending them flying into the air.

After the movie I was convinced Mountain Dew would drive Red Bull and Viagra both off the market!

3. Blade Trinity

Okay, she's hot. SO WHAT? Apart from wearing hopelessly tight leather pants(okay, I like that bit too..), Abigail, the third member of the Blade team has the unusually weird habit of creating a custom iTunes playlist for every time she goes vampire hunting. I mean seriously! her iPod must have seen more action than her in the movie. Apart from being fucking senseless in having loud music blaring in your ears when you're fighting blood-thirsty undead people, how does she even know when her friends are in danger? For all we know, in her mind it's all, "BIFF! POW! WHACK! You are my sunshine, my only sunshine... WHAM! SNICK! WHOOSH! .....you make me happy, when skies are grey... KABOOM!"

Apple must have been mighty pleased with all the action their iPod saw.

Now, let me know yours!

Alrighty, even as Alice takes her red pill and everything goes blank around her, she's gonna take a little break. Actually I am. I have some pressing matters I have to attend to, and while that allows me to pen down my thoughts here, rant, rave, scream, shave...okay not shave..still, rhyming matters to me :|  Anyway, as I was saying, I'll continue to blog, but Alice will be taking a long-ish break outside wonderland.

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Saw Alice in Wonderland yesterday. For the story revolving around Alice revisiting Wonderland, it wasn't as impressive as I'd expected. Still, Ron and I went for the movie simply coz we had nothing to do. Now, this one's a 3D movie and the movie hall was asking for a deposit of Rs.100 for a pair of 3D glasses which would be refunded when we leave the hall. Now this was probably the first time someone had ever asked me for a deposit for a pair of 3D glasses, 100 bucks no less! So I really didn't know how much to pay. But when I got to the front of the line, a lady came rushing through one side and demanded two pairs and paid 500 bucks. The man handing out the glasses paid her back the change, turned to us and asked, "How many?" "Give me two please." I replied. The man handed me two pairs of glasses, asked his assistant who was collecting the money whether we had paid or not. Get this, before I could say anything, the assistant actually said, "Yeah. They paid me!" I don't think I have ever felt the urge to laugh so hard as we walked away from the counter. I figured I'd simply refuse the refund saying I hadn't paid. After the movie ended, I was so engrossed in chatting with Ron that I handed the man my glasses, took 200 bucks for both our pairs and walked away. Only when we were out and onto the streets did we realize what had happened!

Movie tickets = Rs. 100
Getting a refund without paying a deposit = Rs. 100
Net cost of movie = Nil
Realizing that we'd watched a movie for free - Priceless!

There are somethings money can't buy. For everything else there's stupid assistants :P

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Summer's here!

It's that time of the year again!

of shorts and shirts, 

beaches and babes, 

mangoes and melons!

Humid work days,

warm weekend nights,

School's out, college too!

Everyone's home for summer vacations.

Christmas is cool, rains are wet,

but nothing like summer to make you sweat!

Enjoy the summer guys! Happy sweats!