I won't say I'm back. I'll just start typing as fast as I can!
Utsav at Illegal Briefs (yea the chaddi chor types Briefs) said the latest Youngistaan Ka Wow ads starring Gamemaster Gogo...erm....Sanjay Butt and Ranbir Ka-poor trying to score off IPL. How many of you guys believe that? Raise your hands.
One...two...three...ah crap! All of you...
Here's a list of my top three movies that practically survived on their sponsorships since they had horrendous scripts and equally bad acting to follow them up. I mean reall REALLY bad acting. Have you tried watching two men talk inside a glass doored cabin? Lip sync them with a Lady Gaga music video and that's about what you get from these movies. With lots of guns, leather and other shit that's supposed to be uber sexy.
So, here goes!
Oh.My.God! I mean really OMG! It's probably been ages since I've seen a movie that I laughed so hard at! Two college professors, one hormonal female scientist and a firefighter cadet fight an alien organism that tries to take over the world. Should be interesting right? Right. Apparently the only thing this alien thingie is allergic to is Head and Shoulders(wtf ?!). So they fill a firetruck with H&S, shove it down the giant alien's humongous arse-hole and fill it's insides with shampoo, thereby defeating it and saving the world from total domination. Ignoring the fact that it's plain stupid, one and a half hours of watching the movie ends it with:
"For smooth and silky hair, use Head and Shoulders!"
Ha! for advertising a product! :D
2. Mission Istanbul
A promising journalist gets posted to Istanbul to cover a controversial news piece about terrorism. Aided by a turkish commando and catwoman, he battles the good fight. Pan camera at a parking lot. Our two heroes and one feline heroine are style-maarofying, waiting for something to happen when lots of big muscular guys from the Istanbuli akhadas appear out of nowhere like a new level of Prince of Persia. Our journalist friend almost shat in his pants at the thought of fighting these thugs when Lady Huntresswali goes to her jeep, opens the boot and pulls out an icebox.
"Tumhe darr lag raha hai? Lo Mountain Dew piyo. Kyonki Dar ke aage jeet hai!" (wtf! pt.2!!)
As soon as all three have done a bottoms up of their cans of Dew, they go "I am The One!" on all twenty thugs sending them flying into the air.
After the movie I was convinced Mountain Dew would drive Red Bull and Viagra both off the market!
3. Blade Trinity
Okay, she's hot. SO WHAT? Apart from wearing hopelessly tight leather pants(okay, I like that bit too..), Abigail, the third member of the Blade team has the unusually weird habit of creating a custom iTunes playlist for every time she goes vampire hunting. I mean seriously! her iPod must have seen more action than her in the movie. Apart from being fucking senseless in having loud music blaring in your ears when you're fighting blood-thirsty undead people, how does she even know when her friends are in danger? For all we know, in her mind it's all, "BIFF! POW! WHACK! You are my sunshine, my only sunshine... WHAM! SNICK! WHOOSH! .....you make me happy, when skies are grey... KABOOM!"
Apple must have been mighty pleased with all the action their iPod saw.
Now, let me know yours!