Okay, remember that fat woman back when I was having one of those days? Guess what! She was there in my bus. Near me. Right next to me! Her rotundness has gotten rounder. In fact I think she has started causing more global warming than the US. AND she simply had to sit next to me. She didn't recognize me, but I did. I SO DID!
Has anyone told her that it's unwomanly to fart in public?
Which reminds me, did you guys know scientists have discovered a completely indigenous species of humans called Farters. Following are some of the sub-species:
Fartis Blamis - this sub-species is a crafty one, known to let out deadly ones and blame them on the person next to them.
Fartis GoodTimus - they are intellectually smarter than your average farter and time their farts with long and really loud coughs.
Fartis Silentus - these are the most lethal of the species. They let out silent ones that have the potency of nuclear bombs. They are now being termed as Weapons of Mass Destruction. Talks are on to use their asses as biological weapons.
Fartis Acutis - they specialize in letting others know what they had for lunch through a series of soundless but accurately odoured farts. Often confused with Fartis Silentus.
Fartis Opportunitis - these farters have great holding capacities and are often found doing the needful only when there's a loud noise in the immediate surroundings.
Fartis Unfortunatus - Not to be messed with, they try to fart, but end up pooping in their pants instead.
And lastly, of course, the very rare and endangered sub-species
Fartis Meanus - the ones who fart in bed and shake the covers over spouse. They are often found nursing fresh bruises, mostly from frying pans and rolling pins, at the local bar down the lane.
What kind of farter are you?
Let me know in the comment box.
In other news,
I started taking guitar lessons!
I've had this beautiful Granada acoustic for a year but never bothered to get down and dirty with it. But last friday, I decided to make a commitment, and I'm glad I did. It's a beautiful guitar, and the way each note resonates through it's body and into your being is simply blissful. Even though I don't know to play anything barely resembling music, just striking each chord, each string feels good. First class found me struggling to reach with my pinky(oh stop giggling...that's what it's called!) for the last fret and getting cuts on each fingertip, but at the end of two days of practicing I'm happy to announce I now know what each string is called :|
Soon the world shall hear music of the greatness that is me!!
A day back, I bought this awesome thing called a Sun Jar from HitPlay. Now, this is basically a jam jar with a difference. Instead of being boring and jammy, it's got a solar panel fitted inside it's lid and a bulb in the jar. Result? A soft yellow glow that illuminates the room with the barest of lights so that you can just make out the shapes of things far off, but enough light for you to read by it. And it's eco-friendly. How great is that?!
What's cooler is that it's light sensitive. The moment I switch off the lights, it switches on. Awesome eh? You bet!
It's awesome and I'm typing by it's light :D