Sunday, April 12, 2009

Raping English!


At long last, after such a HUGE journey of writing bullshit and commenting pointlessly on random people's blogs have my extremely useless talents been recognized! MWAaahahahhaaaaaaaaaa! (well, that was supposed to be an evil laugh...hmm...)

Well, back to point, Mads from the joint blog Shit-for-tat had started a contest for the best rapist of the English language. With long running veterans and expert rapists being some of the frequent visitors to this blog, I thought I would be blown out of the competition. But what d'you know, it turned out that new blood still can make some impression after all. Struggling through, using all possible high-tech means to rape the stereotypical usage of the language that is English, yours truly emerged at the top, jointly holding the highest laurel for utter abuse of a language with The Pink Orchid.

Here's the full exerpt for your reading displeasure:

Haw haw...lots of jocks here!
I've had a good share of lang-fuckups too..mostly in school.

"Children, open the window, let the climate come in!"
"Open the window, let the air-force come in."
(two different profs hehe...from their perception of the atmosphere it's safe to say they didn't pay attention in school)

"Stand in a straight circle."

Oh here's a good one:
Prof: "I have two daughters, both are girls. And the other one in Gujju."
Me: "Sir, the other one who?"
Prof: "My wife."

One day, very angrily,
"You talk, I kneel down!!"
(with pleasure)

I remember it as if it were just yesterday..well, which it was coz I read about my prize just yesterday..but enough of that..
Now where was I?...oh yeah, I remember it as if it were yesterday that Orchid and I stood with the trophy in our hands, looking down and out onto the crowd of thousands of admirers chanting our name, chanting, "rapist rapist rapist rapist.." My chest swelled with pride as I heard that word in tandem with my own. And as we raised the trophy above our heads the crowd went wild!

It was the best moment of my life. Thank you Mads and thank you Shit-for-tat ers for making me the joint winner of this coveted award. I shall cherish is forever. Thanks to my family for supporting my hopeless education, thanks to everyone around me who inspired me to have such bad taste in english, and of course, thanks to my own self for having such a fucked up sense of humour.

Signing out.

Live long, love longer.

-S-

2 comments:

Mads said...

hawwwwwww how cute :P
lol and super rofl @ crowd chanting...rapists rapists...omg :P

liked ur thank you speech...i could literally see the tears in ur eyes...
ur welcome :D :D
happy raping :D :P

peter said...

gud one ;)