Is it me or are the trains getting more and more crowded by the day? For the past one month I've taken to travelling by train to and from work, mainly because the time taken to go from Chembur to Churchgate by road is approximately the same amount of time I take to drive down to Pune. Why you ask? Simple, our dear authorities at the Municipal Corporation have happily decided to commence "infrastructural developments" right before the rain Gods start their own infra-dev. Anyway, back to point, the trains...Have you ever seen a tin full of sardines?
How many people are there in Mumbai anyway? Judging by the way trains are packed, half of the city must be empty by noon since everyone's gone to work. And the stench, Oh So Lovely! For once in your lifetime try sniffing the armpits of fifty different persons at one go. God only knows how dogs survive, sniffing each others' butts just to say hello(and they don't even wash after a potty break!) Remember the tin of sardines up there? Add a few rotten ones and I rest my case.
Talking about trains, I left late from work today. Took the last train home and what an amazing ride it was. The wide empty roads of South Mumbai at night coupled with the cool weather from the pre-monsoon showers and an extra large plate of bhurji pav (scrambled eggs with bread loaves for the unfortunate ones who haven't experienced this culinary delight) made for an amazing night journey. And you get all sorts of weird people travelling, with you. One of them definitely has to be the quintessential drunkard, teetering on the edge of tripping over his own pants and stinking of desi daaru -
Drunk Guy: bhaisaahab, kidhar ki gaadi hai?
Me : Arre bhai, Mumbai ki hi hai.(Killer PJ ne?)
DG(even worse) : Thoda daaru hai kya?
Me : Khatam ho gaya.
Hearing this, Drunk Guy then starts abusing the hell out of me while I stand and laugh shamelessly at him.
DG : Tum c*#@%& hai...tum daru kyon nahi rakha mere liye? Tumko sharam nahi hai? Akele nai peene ka!
By now, every single person in the compartment is in splits!
He suddenly remembers there are others in the compartment too, so he turns to every one of them and asks for "daaru" Not finding any after a long exchange of questions and abuses, he finally sits down and passes out scratching his crotch.