Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from February, 2010

Fartis Silentus and Sunlight in a Jar

Okay, remember that fat woman back when I was having one of those days? Guess what! She was there in my bus. Near me. Right next to me! Her rotundness has gotten rounder. In fact I think she has started causing more global warming than the US. AND she simply had to sit next to me. She didn't recognize me, but I did. I SO DID!

Has anyone told her that it's unwomanly to fart in public?

Which reminds me, did you guys know scientists have discovered a completely indigenous species of humans called Farters. Following are some of the sub-species:

Fartis Blamis - this sub-species is a crafty one, known to let out deadly ones and blame them on the person next to them.

Fartis GoodTimus - they are intellectually smarter than your average farter and time their farts with long and really loud coughs.

Fartis Silentus - these are the most lethal of the species. They let out silent ones that have the potency of nuclear bombs. They are now being termed as Weapons of Mass Destruction. Talks are on …

*Update*

Thank you for all those who have prayed for my cousin. I wish I'd posted this earlier. Maybe then he'd have got so many more blessings and survived.

I'd mentioned in my previous post that my cousin was battling for his life in the ICU. Well, he fought bravely, but ultimately had to yield in front of God. I guess God didn't want him to suffer anymore and lifted him from this world of pain. I don't necessarily mean physical pain. He was in and out of a coma. His brain had been damaged. I don't know whether he felt anything during his last hours. Which may have been a good thing given his condition. But the mental pain is there. The spirit suffers in a dying body. I don't know what I prayed, but I hoped his pain would go away. And it did. I think it was for the better. No one deserves to live life as a cripple after having known a full fledged life.
He passed away. I should feel sad. Or even disturbed in some way. But I feel nothing. It's strange. It's a…

Darkness and some perspective - It's a rant with a lesson

Life throws a curveball when you least expect it. And then things start piling up. By things I mean news...bad news, some just a setback, and some other shit. And not just any shit. Shit shit.
It's weird. One week you think you're on top of the world. The next two weeks seem to be a bungee jump into the gutters.

First, MBA results kinda sent me into a semi-self induced depression since I haven't yet made it to a final list. I don't even know whether that is the line I should follow. I'm mentally wired for a completely different profession, one whose scope I don't even know. Either way, results scored major mindfuck points for two whole weeks and didn't seem to get better with time.
Then the whole my-life-is-going-nowhere episode started. In my head. Sometimes mental conversation is a bitch. I swear, that voice in your head never seems to shut up, especially when you're trying to make it. With so much shit swirling in your head like a big gunk of goo, it…

Monkeys on Airconditioners and Smileys you can eat!

Alright, is it just me or do any of you out there have monkeys jumping all over your terrace and windows and airconditioners and what not? I mean, seriously! I already feel half-naked with yellow underwear and eating loads of bananas :|




Moving on.

This little guy popped in...rather jumped down, onto my airconditioner while I was having a nice afternoon siesta. Imagine my surprise when I opened my eyes to find mowgli staring down at me with all the curiosity of a twelve year old. Kinda looks like Dobby, the house elf doesn't he?? Cute little bugger. I picked up my cam and took a few shots of him strutting his stuff so that he can impress the girls back in the trees.

After all, brothers help each other out...

Ahem.



On more interesting lines, I found these awesomely cute smiley things that you can bake or fry or do whatever you wish and eat them. It's just such a good vibe to see these tiny smiley faces looking up at you in a bunch.

Awww...

Then you eat them :|



Anywho, that's about a…

Sins no more...

Where are we in the scheme of things?
What is it that we fear?
Why is it pointless at times,
and at times crystal clear?

Look around you,
there's so much to see,
But at the end of it all
is it really meant to be?

Here, a man, greed his sole vice,
holds gold to his breast, fears his own shadow,
There another gives up his all
so that his only child may grow.

Avarice - pride, maketh his move,
bringing all he touches to it's ultimate doom,
while one man defies him each day,
feeding twenty orphans in his tiny room.

What's that? Revenge you say?
Or has the wrath got your tongue?
Look at her, her heart glows golden,
Not to her, but her friends it belongs.

Sex drives men to insanity,
or maybe the lack of it.
Gluttony is a heavy burden to one,
and brings lethargy alongwith.

It's all for nothing, really,
we die at the end of it all,
Live for today, and forget the past,
take the leap, forget the fall.
That's the way life should be,
not with chains and bonds and sins abound.

Hung by a thread

Disclaimer: Profanity used. If you're not okay with it, don't read.




I DON'T LIKE IT! I DON'T WANT THAT!
YOU CAN'T DO THIS! YOU DON'T DO THAT!

Stop yourself,
watch your mouth,
it's me you don't even think about,
Every time you abuse, shout and scream
Every time you shove a blame,
shivering, crying, throwing the guilt trip,
makin' me feel like a piece of shit.
You never thought,
you never cared,
you never looked back at the words you said.
After what you did, I ain't moving on,
That won't happen till you're long gone.
Or will it be me? To be the one to go?
my life ain't worth a shit to you y'know?
There's the fan,
this is me,
I see how this is all gonna be...

You come into the room,
ready with a stick,
of course you've found a fault in me, you prick!
You bang on the door, abuse my ass,
I don't open, you let time pass.
Your abuses don't end, neither do your drinks,
You don't care what anyone thinks.
Finally you knock my door down,
all you s…

Shillong getaway!

Well, last month, for about ten days, I disappeared off the radar for a nice vacation to Shillong. Was definitely the most relaxing vacation I've had till date. And the most scenic too.

I had internet connectivity for the first two days, after which going to a snail-paced cyber-cafe became too much of a pain.


Day 1(14/01/2010):

Alright, this was my very first visit to the North-East city namely Shillong. One entire day's stayover and a nice dinner with my dad and his colleagues left me slightly drunk and a little bit wiser about the workings of the directors of HPCL and what they're all doing. Not that it matters.
Moving on.

Did you know winding roads can make you nauseous? Yeah, but showing awesome courage and some unbelievable bowel control, yours truly managed to keep his senses about him and his breakfast within. Shillong is an awesome place and as far as first impressions go, it definitely impressed. Some kickass sunset views along the winding roads from Guwahati to Shillo…

The stranger in your dream...

I entered the coffee shop, knowing I was late in meeting my friend there. I'd kept her waiting for half an hour since my boss kept me back for some important presentations. Finally escaping his clutches, I rushed in to find her waiting. I sat down, apologizing to her. And that's when I saw you. At first, it was just a passing glance. You looked quite attractive with the black tank top and jeans, your shoulder-length hair flowing smoothly down to your neck. You sat cross-legged, staring off into space(or so I thought) as your friend talked to you. As I ordered my coffee and chatted with my friend, I could make out that you were staring at me, and I liked it. It's so strange, yet so very exciting when you notice a stranger taking interest in you, isn't it? I kept talking to my friend, all the while trying to be as cool as possible to impress you. But I didn't think you'd care enough to notice.
On my way back home, as I sat in my car, all I could think of was you. …